


Yo, that ass is fat

by lawlipoppie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: (implied) - Freeform, Age Difference, Cute, M/M, MeetCute, baek's rly soft, boys, dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 23:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14151945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawlipoppie/pseuds/lawlipoppie
Summary: "Oh shit."





	Yo, that ass is fat

**Author's Note:**

> Baek is a sad pup who just wants a boy :(

Baekhyeon stops in his tracks.

No way. Not him too.

Baekhyeon reads the text again and again. It’s long, a whole elaboration of apologies and reasons. With bullet points. Baekhyeon is like that and he is like that and he has this fear and another fear and one, two, three accounts where they don’t match, and also some roundabout but still candid way of saying he doesn’t, in fact, like Baekhyeon’s appearance. Then the grand finale:  _ I hope you understand _ .

How did he even format bullet points into the text. Baekhyeon hates bullet points. Fuck bullet points.

He deletes everything on the spot. The messaging thread, the contact, the one selca he had from him, unfollows him from everywhere. The cleanse. Baekhyeon is a pro at this now. Unfortunately.

He takes one deep breath – the air is warm, verdant, and Baekhyeon thinks it doesn’t fit; he needs grime, misery – and forgets  _ all _ about him. Baekhyeon doesn’t keep the corpses of flopped to-be trysts lying around in his memories. That’s not healthy.

He puts his phone back in his pocket and keeps on walking. He has no destination anymore. He was on his way to a date. And he got stood up minutes before said date. But the road is paved ahead of him, bordered with flowers, and Baekhyeon follows it.  

Every time this happened , he scoffed, maybe got angry because he made time in his schedule for the meeting, maybe felt nothing. A clockwork of reactions.

But now, now he’s just sad. He is sad. No scoffing, no,  _ I could’ve liked this one _ , he didn’t even like him that much. But Baekhyeon is tired. He’s really tired, and this is yet another failure.

Baekhyeon just wants a boy. Why won’t any boy stick to him.

Maybe he should just give up.

The heavens are still up there, but gathered, all on Baekhyeon’s shoulders, weighting him down. It’s raining on him. Everyone has their sunshine but all he has is gloom and sleet and he even hears some thunder.  

He could go back, and have lunch with Kyeongsu. It would morph into yet  _ another _ pity party where Baekhyeon pretends his eyes are watering because of the spice, not because his lone, skinny heart is in pieces. Again.

Everyone bails one way or another, at one point or another. It’s not that Baekhyeon has that many faults. It’s that it’s not quite an ideal world for him to find his love. He got used for ‘experimentation’. He got used for jokes when he was younger – apparently playing with his feelings is funny, just because he likes boys. There was a lot of casual, selfish sex too. A few flings that only lived until heavy petting, and never strayed beyond that. And then, just the boys who didn’t like him, boys he didn’t like that much.

And so, Baekhyeon is more than a little lovelorn. He just wants solace, cuddles, someone to share blushes and kisses with and hold hands and maybe touch dicks on occasion.

It can be that he’s also pretty bad at flirting. He also noticed that he very often had crushes on straight to straight-ish boys. The ones who wanted to experiment, and who liked some parts, liked having some things done to them, but couldn’t really offer it back. Those hurt the most.

It’s broken into spring for a while, but it’s only now finally warm enough to be out without a jacket. Everyone is in lighter clothes, sprightly colours, a small skip to their step.

And Baekhyeon is alone. On a campus full of people.

He goes along the path, not looking left and right anymore. The path is safe. The path doesn’t make him yearn.

Why is it so hard to have a boyfriend. Just what's wrong with him. What is he doing wrong.

His gaze strays. There are just so many cute boys around. Cute boy in pink tee, cute boy with a big, amazing smile, cute boy laying on the grass reading. Boys that don’t like Baekhyeon.

He redirects himself back to the path. The path. There’s a long way to go until he’s out of the university campus. Instead of quickening his pace, Baekhyeon only slows down. His feet are heavy. All of him is heavy. It must be the sadness and the clouds and the longing for the cute boys.

His gaze is clouded, blurred. It’s not by tears, but only by his mood. Someone is beside him. Tall person, pace matching his. Then they’re slightly ahead of Baekhyeon. Button shirt and slacks. Pressed black slacks. That’s a lot of legs and then—

“Yo, that ass is fat,” Baekhyeon mutters, perhaps to himself, kind of self-deprecatingly. The thunder in his ears nearly covers it. All this sunniness around is just continuous lighting to him. He’s caught in the storm.

“My ass is what?”

“Fat,” Baekhyeon responds. He was looking at that ass. But now, now it’s not ass anymore. Now it’s hips. The front of some hips. Such nice hips.

“Oh shit,” Baekhyeon says. The tall guy is facing him. They’ve stopped walking at some point, though Baekhyeon can’t tell when. He looks up. Oh, so much chest too. Oh, that's a nice face. More than nice. Baekhyeon shouldn't swoon right now because it sounds like he's kind of in trouble but. Boy. So much boy. So much  _ nice _ boy.

And it seems he’s older too. Surely not a student. No student wears clothes like these around here. The quality of them is so obvious.

But, Baekhyeon, who isn't loved by anyone, needs to get his shit together.

"I mean, you look like you have a fat heart too," he amends. Just look at that pec. The button of his shirt is barely holding on. It’s because of the fat heart underneath.

Since when is he so thirsty. It’s not because of the heat. He's just sad. And this boy just looks so good. He's cute too. Very cute. Cute everywhere.

Can't he let Baekhyeon love him.

And then he realizes that what he said, on top of being rude, is also really gay. And he shouldn't say gay things to boys if he doesn't know how gay they are or how okay with other gay boys they are, for he's gotten mixed reactions about that, some really bad and—

Baekhyeon deflates. Today is just a bad day. Birds are chirping and the sun is up, and it's breezy and people are everywhere, and his hair is not a mess and he’s dressed for a date and he just nailed an exam, but it's just a bad day. Can't Baekhyeon be a little less gay, just enough to, like, want people who aren’t boys too. That would solve some of the heartache. And dickache.

He’s getting lost in his woebegone thoughts while looking at the guy’s chest. It’s  _ that _ good of a chest. Wouldn’t it want for Baekhyeon to rest his head on it?

Baekhyeon now dares to meet his eyes again.

The guy is glaring down at him. He’s frowning.  _ Severely _ . Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all.

They’re beautiful features. Beautiful proportion. His face shouldn’t wring like that. And it’s all because of Baekhyeon. Baekhyeon is sorry that he did this to the nice face. Forgive him, nice face.

But then, he doesn’t distinguish any fury in his gaze. The light pelts in his eyes, and his irises are auric, illustrious, superb. And it might be that—

Baekhyeon raises his hand, palm turned down, and poises it in front of his eyes. The frown smoothes out. It was that the sun was shining into his eyes. His height keeps some shade on Baekhyeon but no one is keeping shade on him.

He looks better when he’s not frowning. Kinder. Kindest.

Gazing. Gazing with a stranger shouldn't be like this. All the delineations of his expression are unfamiliar to him. But the gaze is persistent. Kind and soft. With a pressure, and a dandle. Baekhyeon doesn't want to look away.

“That didn't help, did it?” Baekhyeon asks after a while. Recalling why, just  _ why _ they’re in this position. Baekhyeon said he has a fat ass. And then covered it up by saying his heart seems fat too.  Excellent train of thought. Brilliant.

“I'm sorry,” He says. He does a bit of a bow. There’s only space between them for a small one.  Because what he said was kinda harassment-y and not nice and Baekhyeon just hopes this guy won't get mad. Baekhyeon has made too many boys mad. He just wants to make them happy, not mad. Happy boys are Baekhyeon’s favourite boys.

He bows again, a bit deeper. “I’m sorry.”

The guy bursts into laughter. It’s so sudden, Baekhyeon nearly jumps back. It sounds coarse. Unmodulated. Overloud. His eyes are gone, naught but semilunes and his lips are pulled, poking into his rounded, bloomy cheeks. A ribbon of petal pink around pretty teeth. Spectacular laughter from a spectacular man. Baekhyeon would like to cause this again. But hopefully by other means. 

He doesn't let himself think farther. Maybe he's laughing at Baekhyeon. Maybe Baekhyeon looks as miserable as he feels and the guy is about to tell him he fucked with the wrong person. If he squints, he can detect a soupcon of ire into his gaze.

It dies down slowly. The semilunes are full lunes again. It’s followed by the ugliest non-silence ever. The birds are chirping and the foliage of the trees is rustling. Someone screams in the vicinity.

Baekhyeon only waits for his apology to be accepted, and for this cute, glorious boy to walk on his long, slacks-clad legs out of his (stormy) life. Baekhyeon still has his palm shielding his eyes. He waits.

Then the guy gets his phone from his pocket. Oh, that's some nice forearm. A watch on his wrist too. This guy is seriously out of his league. Is Baekhyeon even in any league anymore.

“Your number,” the guy says, stretching the phone towards him. His voice is a fitting braid of assonant and robust. Just like his physique is. A bit of a prolongment to the vowels. Can he stop being so charming now. Baekhyeon can swoon only so much.

He takes the phone shakily. No way his semi-catcall worked in a favourable way. No way this is a good thing. Baekhyeon must be in trouble. He keys the number in slowly. He considers giving a wrong one, but then, he’s just boyfriend-less, not a coward.

The guy takes the phone back. A brusque motion. Snappy. Not good. So not good.

“Thanks,” he says.  

“Are you gonna...report me? Or…” Baekhyeon has time to go to the police station. Or to court. He’s not dating anyone. He has the time. Not the money, maybe, but the time, certainly he has. And he’ll get to see this cute boy again. And his lawyer. Maybe he has a cute lawyer. Baekhyeon is going down because of cute boys. Not bad.

“For what?” he asks. His brows are sloped prettily. They make it so he can’t look away from his eyes. Baekhyeon feels some brow-jealousy, among other nasty things.

He's not sure in fact. It must be some sort of crime to just comment about passing asses. Baekhyeon sinned. Surely.

“And to whom would I report you?” Amusement. That’s amusement. On his face and in his tone. Baekhyeon’s heart flutters. But it also does some worrying things. He shouldn’t trust this.

Something worse than getting arrested by the police, or getting sued. Much worse. “My mom,” Baekhyeon replies. “She's gonna say she didn't raise me like this and then beat my ass.” He shivers only thinking about it.

Baekhyeon just wants to apologise again, step back and bow properly, over ninety degrees if necessary. He opens his mouth to do just that when his phone pings. He reaches for it by reflex. He’s been getting texts from the date he doesn’t have anymore nearly all day. All this greenery and freedom and Baekhyeon is alone. He unlocks his phone.  

_ Your ass is fat too _ , it says.

He looks up. The guy is holding his own phone in his hand, peering down at Baekhyeon. “I wouldn’t want it to receive any beating.” A faltering, where his simper pulls to one side. “Unless you like that.”

Baekhyeon is gaping. He feels the spring breeze in his mouth. Maybe a bee too. That can’t be attractive. Baekhyeon sort of needs to be attractive right now.

He doesn’t know the face of this boy well. So far he knows the frown, the laughter, the amusement, and now, the bashfulness. Little curls all over his features. It’s perhaps his favourite out of all of them.

“My ass is fat?” Baekhyeon asks.

Is his ass even visible. And then he recalls he has skinny jeans on. He wore them because he was supposed to have a date today, look good today. Brand new, super tight jeans. His ass is, in fact, about pancaked by their tightness. He lost roundness, but not area though.

The guy nods. Then swallows. A nice neck. Everything is so nice about him. Too nice. He also  _ just _ acknowledged the fatness of his ass.

And Baekhyeon is emboldened by misery and crushed hopes today, just how much worse can it get. He turns back to his phone, and types quick, before lucidity gets to him.

_ Would you like to find out how fat my heart is too? _

He sends it.

The wording is both ridiculous and a bit funny to him. Fat hearts. Jiggling, plump, soft hearts. Ass-like hearts. Asses are heart shaped anyway. Not an elegant comparison, but maybe a touching one, in its own mildly off-putting way. Baekhyeon likes it.

He doesn't look up. He hears the boy’s phone vibrate but he doesn't look beyond his chest. If there is no reply, Baekhyeon can just leave without seeing his face as he rejects Baekhyeon. He doesn’t want to have memories of boys giving him demurring, apologetic gazes anymore. If it is the last one, Baekhyeon wants it to be the bashful smile. That was beautiful.

The boy chuckles. Gorgeous. Baekhyeon keeps his eyes down. It could be a chuckle of rejection. That’s not  _ impossible _ .

His stomach roils. Baekhyeon is hungry too. And unloved. A million kinds of empty.

“What's your name?” he hears. A caress of a question. When Baekhyeon peers at him, he sees the wind blowing a few strands of hair over his forehead. It’s of a deep, natural, black, styled loosely. It makes his skin appear immaculate.

He is soft. “Baekhyeon.”

“Do you want to have lunch with me?”

“To...discuss how you're gonna report me?”

A shake of his head. More black falling over his forehead. Baekhyeon loves boys with messy hair a lot. “I'm not reporting you. For what? For having good taste in ass?”

“So you know it’s a banging ass.” Because to think of it, Baekhyeon can’t be the only one at fault for saying that. He was bewitched by the ass.

“Yes.”  _ More _ bashfulness. It’s all pinks. The prettiest pinks.  

This boy is just so dreamy Baekhyeon can’t let anything bud without mentioning that, "I meant though, like, in the gay way. Yes homo." He whispers it. These things should be whispered, be barely given any body.

The boy gets close. His neck is in Baekhyeon’s face, his lips by his ear. “I was hoping  _ a lot _ it would be in a gay way.”

Baekhyeon’s legs tremble. That was devastatingly smooth. This is not the talk of a bereft man. This is the talk of a man who is a pro at charming boys. And Baekhyeon is a very charmed, soft boy right now. “I’ll fall for you,” Baekhyeon blurts. Maybe as a warning. It's not that he just falls for anyone, that he doesn’t have standards or identity. It’s just that being with someone is really inviting to him. He’s so ready to make someone happy, and to be their happiness in turn.  

The boy pulls out of his neck. He gazes at Baekhyeon. “I’d be honoured if you did.”

Baekhyeon would like to kiss this boy so much. He looks so kissable. He looks like he needs a kiss too. Maybe people who need kisses recognize each other like this.

“I want to have lunch with you,” Baekhyeon says. The most conviction he’s ever put in anything in his life.

The boy’s face shatters into a beam. His mien is one of joy too. Baekhyeon has  _ never _ received such a reaction for accepting a date. He’s giddy. So giddy. “Let’s go then.”

It takes two steps, and then they’re going along the same pathway they stopped on. Side by side. Pace matching. But Baekhyeon is skipping. He’s definitely skipping. Normal walking is for when he doesn’t meet a sublime boy who asks him on a date.

“I just got stood up,” Baekhyeon says. The ashen clouds over his head have cleared entirely. Baekhyeon wants to say that those clouds are only an occasional happenstance, and not a default. He’s usually sunnier than the sun itself.

“Me too,” Sehun perks, eyes finding his.

“ _ Who _ stands you up?” Baekhyeon is both enraged, and also very happy.

“The same kind of assholes who stand  _ you _ up.”

“Thank god for the assholes then. Oh, is this why you're dressed so nice.” Baekhyeon appraises. It’s him, though, not the clothing that gives the stateliness. Masculine but boyish and a refinement that comes with a bit more age. Such splendour.

“I'm always dressed this nice,” he says.

Baekhyeon believes him. He’s very much doomed.

“But what's your name?” That was missing.

“Sehun.”

Baekhyeon feels the immediate urge to— “Sehunnie,” he exclaims. It’s sweet in his mouth. Wonderful. He wants to say it over and over.

Sehun looks at him. His face pulls, works to help his smile as high and big as it can be. “Yes, like that.”

“Sehunnie,” Baekhyeon says again. They’re now passing the gates of the campus. They shall find the place to have lunch at. “Don't stand me up now,” voices Baekhyeon. “After we eat, you can. But not now. I can’t be stood up on lunch twice in a row.”

“Not a chance for me to stand you up now. I don’t want to eat alone.”

There is the splatters of shadows on his face from the bloomed trees on the side of the road. The fragrance of blossoms in the air, though it’s whittled, for they’re on the brink of being gone.

“You're like really pretty,” Baekhyeon says. Pretty him on this pretty backdrop is breath-taking.

“You're prettier,” he peeps. Offhand, but genuine. Baekhyeon loves blushing. Baekhyeon also loves the butterflies in his tummy. It seems like his whole body is hosting a spring.

He doesn't know where this will take them, but if all he gets out of it is a meal with someone nice, it’s good enough. If there is no more compatibility, or if there is, but not on enough accounts, Baekhyeon would be happy just with this.

They’re headed towards the bistro just shy off the foreseeable corner. When they enter, it will be the start of this. This mini thing that is happening. 

“If we last till a fifth date, please touch my ass,” Sehun says.

That's exciting. Very much so. The idea of dating, the idea of touching the ass, the idea of calling him Sehunnie over and over. 

“Your  _ fat _ ass,” Baekhyeon emphasizes as agreement.

“Didn't think this fat ass of mine would score me this,” he holds the door of the bistro open for Baekhyeon, ”Would score me  _ you _ .”

Baekhyeon loves him already. He gets on his tip toes and snatches a peck at his cheek, hasty, daring, before he bolts inside, finds a table, and waits for a blushing Sehunnie to come have a seat, and for date number one to start.

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is the sorta shit that happens when i have fun writing


End file.
